What To Do Before You Have Sex For The First Time
What To Do Before You Have Sex For The First Time
TissuesBlog advocates that all sexual activity be consensual and of appropriate age.
Many parents avoid having the talk, and Sex Education classes don’t usually provide comprehensive information, leaving many questions unanswered. The truth is most teenagers are curious about sex, and it is completely normal to have questions. Yes, teenagers have sex. And yes, having sexual urges is perfectly okay. Daydreaming in history class about your crush is a normal part of being a teenager—though if that crush is taken, it might be time to focus on something new. Regardless of how one decides to approach their sexuality, open communication and education are essential for young people. So, if you are an older teenager and have questions about having sex for the first time, keep reading for some real tips.
But…. If you have gray hair and pay a mortgage, then get out of here, this is for the teenagers who have issues because they sure do have a lot of them.
Comfort
As an older teenager, you are still discovering your sexual identity, and that is completely normal. It’s important to protect both your emotional and physical well-being. If you are preparing to lose your virginity, first check if you are comfortable in YOUR skin. Second, evaluate if you are comfortable with your partner seeing all of you—both physically and emotionally. These crucial steps are key to navigating any vulnerability you might feel when losing your virginity.
Pressure
The newer generation has normalized the concept of virginity to the extent that teenagers often feel pressured. If you feel societal pressure to fit a certain mould, that reaction is understandable because society can be overwhelming. It can be challenging to determine whether your feelings are influenced by your partner or even the world around you. The best approach is to take your time and reflect on the idea of losing your virginity. This reflection is essential for understanding if this is something you genuinely want to do. Remember, there is always time to change your mind. It’s important to be with a partner with whom you feel comfortable expressing your thoughts and feelings.
F.W.B
The big question to consider is the significance of sex in your relationship. Discovering that you and your partner have different viewpoints on intimacy can be quite disheartening. It’s essential to clarify what sex means to each of you in the early stages of your relationship. If you are already dealing with emotional or mental health issues, it’s important to ensure that if you are in a relationship, it is a stable one.
Hygiene
Do your parents discuss body hygiene with you? More specifically, do they talk about sexual hygiene? Probably not.
As a teenager, it can be uncommon for parents to address how to maintain bodily hygiene, which might be for the best since it could be an awkward conversation. Overall, this can be challenging for anyone, but the best approach is to ensure you are clean and showered right before (and after) any sexual encounter. Ideally, try to shower just minutes before you see your partner.
For girls who might be tempted to use perfume down there, it’s important to note that many sources advise against it. Here are some tips:
■ If you can’t shower right before, use feminine wet wipes to freshen up.
■ Use specified feminine sprays when you have the opportunity to go to the washroom.
■ Apply lotion on your inner upper thighs, keeping it far enough from sensitive areas but close enough to be effective.
Nails
It is important to keep your nails maintained.
Cleanliness. Cutting. Confidence.
Keep your nails clean because, during sexual activities that involve your hands or fingers, you do not want to gross your partner out, especially during your first time.
Ensure your nails are also cut appropriately. When your fingers are entering any body part, they need to be trimmed to prevent any injuries.
You want to feel confident. For anyone who likes getting their nails done, now would be the time. Not necessary. But if you always get them done, then why not? This will make you feel more confident when using your hands for anything.
Shaving
Let’s be clear: shaving is a personal choice, not a requirement. If your partner suggests you shave, it’s entirely up to you to decide what you feel comfortable with. If they hint that you wouldn’t be attractive without shaving, then that’s a red flag.
If shaving makes you feel more confident in your skin, then go for it! Just keep in mind that losing your virginity can be a vulnerable experience, so it’s best to present yourself in a way that boosts your confidence.
Sexual preparation
Having sex for the first time can be a big adjustment for you and your partner’s body. That is why you should be acquainted with other sexual activities beforehand. It allows the both of you to know what each other likes before actually having sex. It can also prepare your body for something it has never experienced before. Sex as a girl can hurt, so doing other sexual stuff days before can loosen up muscles and calm everyone down.
Physical preparation
You know how all of those actors on TV shows are always wearing sexy lingerie while you are just sitting there saying, uh, I wish. Well, why not? Why not wear something nice that makes you feel confident for your first time? This doesn’t mean spending the little bit of money you have on a pair of Calvin Klein’s. It’s about wearing something that makes you feel good, so when you engage in removing clothing, you will feel both physically and sexually comfortable. The best advice you will ever receive in your life: do not wear socks with holes in them; they are not cute or attractive. (Unless those are the only socks that you have, then bless your soul.)
Aftercare
Not everyone fully appreciates the vital role of aftercare, but it is an essential component of the experience, especially after your first time. Aftercare is all about ensuring that everyone involved in the intimate encounter feels secure and cared for—physically, mentally, and emotionally. There are many meaningful ways to engage in aftercare:
■ Cuddling: Nestling close creates warmth and creates feelings of safety, deepening your emotional connection.
■ Watching a movie together: Choose a cozy film to relax and enjoy side-by-side, sharing laughter and snacks for a chill experience.
■ Playing video games: Dive into an exciting gaming session that will create lasting memories.
■ Listening to music: Share your favourite songs to set a soothing atmosphere, letting the sounds strengthen your bond.
■ Offering affirmations: Express appreciation and reassurance through kind words, enhancing your emotional ties and understanding.
■ Engaging in open conversation: Share your thoughts and feelings to foster intimacy and a deeper connection with one another.
■ Going for a walk: Enjoy the fresh air and the beauty of nature together, deepening your connection as you savour each other’s company.
Condom protection
What it is: A condom is a sheath-shaped barrier device used during sexual intercourse to reduce the probability of pregnancy or a sexually transmitted infection. There are both male and female condoms.
What it does: Condoms are 98% effective at protecting against most STIs like chlamydia and gonorrhea. However, condoms don’t protect you from all STIs, such as herpes, genital warts and syphilis, which can be spread through skin-to-skin contact.
Birth control protection
What it is: Birth control refers to methods used to prevent pregnancy before it occurs. There are many different options available that are effective and easy to use. One common method is the birth control pill, often referred to as “the Pill.” It is a daily medication that contains hormones designed to alter the body’s processes to prevent pregnancy.
What it does: The hormones in birth control pills help prevent pregnancy by:
1. Stopping or reducing ovulation, which is the release of an egg from the ovary.
2. Thickening cervical mucus, making it more difficult for sperm to enter the uterus.
3. Thinning the lining of the uterus, which makes it less likely for a fertilized egg to attach.
Read this external article for more on sexual protection. Tips for Teens | Reproductive Health | CDC
Settings
How to set the mood and create a vibe:
■ LED lights in your room
■ Play music
■ Spray perfume or cologne in parts of the room
■ Use candles safely
Contrary to what some may think, losing your virginity in a car is not the worst idea. And, as a teenager, it could seem like your only option. If you really have to do it in the back seat of the car, here are some additional ways to make it special:
■ Car LED lights
■ Play music
■ Set up blankets
■ If you have a truck, you can pull out the trunk for more space
■ ensure you are in a discreet place not to disturb the public
Remember, the concept of virginity does not define who you are. Whatever feelings you may be experiencing—whether they be fear, uncertainty, nervousness, or readiness—are all valid and deserve to be discussed. Never let the stigma surrounding virginity prevent you from asking questions. Regardless of your viewpoints on teenagers being sexually active, it’s important to acknowledge the truth: teenagers are indeed engaging in sexual activity. This blog aims to provide you with information about sex as a teenager to help you prepare for discussions that your parents may not be willing to have. Now that you have read this blog, please prioritize safety, responsibility, and smart decision-making as you move forward.
xoxo TissuesBlog